Adult ADHD & Emotional Dysregulation

Hey friends! Erin here from the intersection of faith and ADHD. My mission and goal is to provide faith-based resources to Christian adults with ADHD so they can release the shame & step into their God-given authenticity, identity, and purpose.

If you want to download my free 5-day ADHDevotional (a devotional coloring workbook), click here!

Now, today, we’re going to talk about adult ADHD and emotional dysregulation. It’s a bit embarrassing to not fully know how to manage your emotions as an adult with ADHD, right? It feels like we’ve been learning this skill our entire lives! But no matter how much you try, the emotional dysregulation keeps happening. You’ve tried your best over and over again to follow the Bible and “keep captive every thought”, but the thoughts keep breaking out of jail.

Whew… I’m right there with you. I’ve always been the seemingly hyper-emotional kid. I remember my emotions always being on the surface. I remember being made fun of constantly for crying too much, being too angry, or even laughing too loud. I was too happy sometimes?

But the thing is this: I wasn’t always in control of those reactions. And because of the magic of ADHD hyperfocus, I wasn’t always able to simply “get over it”. That’s also part of emotional dysregulation.

ADHD Emotional Dysregulation Defintion

Before we keep going, let’s actually define emotional dysregulation when it comes to adult ADHD. According to Cleveland Clinic, emotional dysregulation is defined as a mental health condition that involves trouble controlling your emotions & how you act on those feelings.

to those around you, your emotions and reactions will seem out of proportion compared to what you're reacting to.

Look again at that definition: It doesn’t say that your emotions, themselves, are bad or invalid. God created us, our brains, and our emotions. It simply states that you have trouble expressing them in a healthy way, or that sometimes the intensity of the emotion doesn’t match the perceived intensity of the situation.

This is why this shit is embarrassing!

Once I learned more about how my emotional dysregulation showed up, I was able to understand more about strategies I could use to eventually regulate them and calm my nervous system.

Adult ADHD Emotional Dysregulation Examples

I was always a super emotional kid!

I was made fun of a lot, so I cried a lot.

I was angry a lot.

I also laughed a lot!

Sometimes the response I had to a particular incident seemed appropriate. But a lot of times, I got the “get over it” from my peers and the adults around me. So, of course, I learned to hide my emotions, which just put up this overall wall of anger.

Once I grew up and went to therapy, I learned how to feel my feelings. And I feel them so big, friends! It’s not always fun (keep reading), but there are strategies to manage when it gets overwhelming listed later in the article for ya.

With that said, here are 5 examples of emotional dysregulation in ADHD adults, AND I’ll even give you 5 of the techniques and tools I use to regulate my emotions!

[graphic - 5 adhd emotional dysregulation examples - image: short fuse]

1. Difficulty Calming Down From An Emotional Situation

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2. Low Frustration Tolerance

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3. Frequent Outbursts (Even Laughter...)

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4. Feeling Overwhelmed By Emotions Themselves

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5. Difficulty Focusing On Anything But The Emotional Past Situation

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Adult ADHD Emotional Regulation Strategies

Remember, emotions are messengers. What are yours saying to you?

I am still learning to accept my emotions fully, but as I do, I learn more about how emotions are really messengers. They are there to show us things. The more we lean into what our emotions have to say to us, the more regulated we can be.

Mind you, this isn’t about masking. Emotional dysregulation is exhausting; I’m just trying to be less tired and have more time for the abundant & joyful life God has for me. That’s all.

So let’s get into these emotional regulation strategies. These are going to be specific to adults with ADHD, so I hope you enjoy!

Emotional Regulation In the Moment For ADHD Adults

Adults with ADHD tend to have lots of strategies in our toolkits already, but remembering to use them in the moment is tougher. Start a note (or a new note) in your phone and write down this sequence to try next time you feel your emotional regulation crumbling around you.

Mindful Breathing

1. Take 5 of the longest slowest breaths you can

2. As you return your breathing to normal, notice things with your body

   • 5 individual things you see

   • 4 individual things you feel

   • 3 individual things you hear

   • 2 individual things you smell

   • 1 individual thing you taste

3. If you’re still feeling emotionally out of whack, try going to another room, shaking out (literally…I mean bounce around if you can), and try again in that new space.

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Move Your Body

As adults with ADHD may not fully understand how our bodies interact with our emotions. Sometimes, we may just need to move. If you can’t physically move your body out of a space, try getting some sort of fidget.

• Here are some of my personal faves!

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Preventative Emotional Regulation For ADHD Adults

While emotional dyregulation can sometimes feel out of our control, there are some preventative things we as adults with ADHD can do to help ourselves stay emotionally regulated long term. These aren't necessarily easy (none of this is...), but getting into a habit or routine of these will make the times we do get out of emotional whack, we can recover quicker

Regular Movement, Food, Water, And Sleep

Lissen, I didn’t say they would be easy, did I? But seriously, taking care of your body will help your body take care of your brain. Getting enough movement, food, water, and sleep overall will help you remain emotionally regulated long term.

Time with God, Creation, and Nature

Spending time with God, creation, and nature can help you by boosting the stores of the other brain chemicals that work alongside dopamine. I created an ADHDevotional to help Christian adults with ADHD break up with the shame and find their authenticity, identity, and purpose. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, click here to download!

Therapyyyyyy!

You can have a therapist and Jesus, too! I know that therapy can sometimes be a sticky subject for Christians, but if you have ADHD, you NEED a therapist. Adults with ADHD have brains that are different than most of the world, and coping with neurodivergence is hard! Prayer is great, but God created therapy and therapists to help one-on-one, in real time.

Adult ADHD & Emotional Dysregulation

I hope you've gained some new insights on Adult ADHD, emotional dysregulation, and some strategies on how to bring yourself back to baseline!

If you found this helpful, join me on my email squad! I send out weekly newsletters with tips and tricks for adults with ADHD who are just trying to make it in the world. In this newsletter, I also share cool shit I find to help out my ADHD brain. It's a great time and I promise not to spam you! 🫶🏾

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I'll see you soon at the intersection of faith & ADHD.